Likkle goff couple

Why the fucking baby jesus and his slut of a mother am I blogging at half ten at night?
I'm fucking shattered, I have £30 beside me, and I keep thinking about fucking Frankenstein. I mean, what the fuck is that shit all about?! "I KILLT ME LIKKLE BRUVVA, O WOE IS ME." and then he still goes and denies that little shit of a monster, so it gets even worse; CRY ME A RIVER, YOU FUCKING TWAT.
No, I haven't read all of it. But everyone knows what happens, yes?

I'd much rather read Ink Exchange. Well, since that's what I'm doing. It's fucking epic. Although the sex bits are rather... dull. "Flurry of flesh" and other shit like that. It's like, WTF, WHERE'S THE PORN, BITCH?! I don't give a fuck if I got this book from the College library- God, I'm such a fucking geek. WANK.

Yes, wank is my word.
I WANK ALL DAY LONG. AHAHAHAHAA.
No, seriously. I walk around yelling it. AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?!
She's straight. Fucking straight. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I MEAN, BUT SHE'S STRAIGHT.
WHY?! WHY, OH WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?! I would so totally do her. Mmmn, whilst she's wearing those white overalls, and nothing el-
FUCK OFF, BRAIN. FUCK. OFF. NOW.

I'm getting a tattoo. Yes, let's talk about that. That's a safe, totally-non-erotic subject.
It's based on a gravestone. Fucking freaky, I know. But it's gonna be fucking sexy. AND IT'S GONNA HAVE WINGS ON THE SIDE. I've always wanted wings, so now I'll have them painted on. Permanently. Speaking of permanent shit, I'm thinking about dying my hair. Again.
Brown, this time. So it'll be natural. Either that or red again. I need my fucking EMA.

Fucking EMA.

Coming clean

Ahaha, I adore the new Subway advert. But I don't get why he has to be in his underwear. Hypnotist maybe has some freaky kinks. Vimto has disease fruit.. And I'm just rambling the shit outta my blog because the person who this blog will be about will probably read this when I say "Blog's up, bbycks" Or some other shite like that.

I'm a mother-fucking filthy little hypocrite.
Although that fact's well known and well spread. Especially among the people who're supposed to be my friends. FUCK YOU ALL. Grrrrr. Yes, I'm pissed off because there are some people who are really just pathetic. Which makes me even moar grateful that I've never ever had an argument with the Gremlin. Well, never a srs one anyway- actually, I don't even think we've play argued o.O Ohmygod, I love you Gremmy <3 xD

FUCK SAKE, STOP FUCKING RAMBLING MATT. STOP IT.
I'm such a whore, I won't even tell random, anninymoos interblaggers what's on my chest. Fuck this. Have some lyrics whilst I think of what to say..

So, it's sad this doesn't suit you now,
And me fresh out of rope.
Please ignore the lisp,
I never meant to sound like this.
So take me and break me,
And make me strong like you,
I'll be forever grateful to this and you.

It's only you, beautiful,
Or I don't want anyone.
If I can choose, It's only you.

Fix me to a chain around your neck
And wear me like a nickel,
Even new wine served in old skins cheapens the taste.
I shot the pilot,
I'm begging you to fly this for me.
I'm here for you to use, broken and bruised
Do you understand?

It's only you, beautiful,
Or I don't want anyone.
If I can choose, It's only you.

But how could I miscalculate
Perfect eyes will have perfect aim
If I can choose, It's only you.
We're wrecking and I'm dry like a drum
When you scream so fine I'll leave
We're stranded
We've got time and trials measured in miles
We slave for days and weeks

It's only you, beautiful,
Or I don't want anyone.
If I can choose, It's only you.

But how could I miscalculate,
Perfect lies from a perfect dame.
If I can choose, It's only you.



Well, no, actually... That song pretty much sums it up.

Maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year

Want a good book to read? Then follow my advice and DON'T read Sara's face. I don't exactly know which genre it'd fall into (Metro Station on Kerrang is <333, btw.).. But it's scared the shit outta me.. AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON YET.
It's like a... mystery. Yeah, that's it. The genre is mystery. (We've been doing genre in Media, y'see). Or it might be a Thriller. Or both. A thristery. Or maybe a Myriller. I don't know.

Well, anyway, I'm basically jumping at nothing.. And I daren't go into the kitchen (Even though I'm dying of hunger coss I haven't eaten since fourth period which was, like, one o'clock) coss the light's off in there. Damn my father for going out on a date; the freaky part is, he's going on a date with his ex-best-friends ex-wife (Well, I think they were married. They have three kids together and stuff, so...). The other freaky part is, I call this woman my "Auntie". Since my dad's ex-best-friend had known me since birth, and he'd been with his-now-ex-and-possibly-my-fathers-now-current-girlfriend up until I was, like, thirteen.

You may be wondering what happened to the woman my father was dating before; That, my dears, is a long and repetitive story ("I'm on the run, I'm chasin' guys for fun!" I love this song.)
Right, back on weddings..
My step-grandfather's getting married tomorrow. To someone whom his daughters don't really like. It's not that she's not a nice woman, the woman my SGD is marrying.. More the fact she's too nice. Like, she's always in your face; She doesn't understand the concept of needing time out, her remedy to depression is a big barbeque with as many people as possible. But she's lovely, really. I just don't know how I could ever look at her and even think of calling her "Nan" or something. I mean, she's only fifty-ish for one. For two, I've only known her about two years (Properly at least. Coss she's only moved to the U.K properly just recently. She's Australian, see). For three, she's just not the grandmother-y type. She never had kids of her own, so I guess the maternal instinct thing has left her body by now.
Oh, yes, and she also gets terribly drunk and dances "sexily" to jazz music *shudder*

Well, hopefully I shall get terribly drunk at the wedding tomorrow. And also hopefully, some cute guys/girls/waiters/whatever will be there for me to make out with...

The button that turns the sun off

Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Oooofffffft.
Now I know why I chose media. We get to watch music videos with Hayley Williams in them, and programmes with hot chicks that kill vampires. I repeat: Oooooffffft.

Yes, sir, this is now my corner of the internet to unleash my sexual desires. Although not like some gamer nerd n00btube who faps off to Haruhi Suzumiya in some hentai game. I can get myself laid, thank you very much. But it's nice to have a place to type about sex whilst I'm not having sex, thinking about sex, or watching people make out whilst imagining them having sex.

For some reason, I thought of gay couples then; which also made me think about some guy who I used to know in Year 9, who I saw again today. The moment he turned to me with a limp wrist and a pouty "Hiya darlin'" I knew straight away he was a bowel banger. My suspicions were confirmed (surprise, surprise) about half a second later when a cute guy walked by us, and Mr Gay whispered a heavily-awed "Ouch!"

Anyway, enough about that. The thought of two guys making out does NOT turn me on. Two girls, on the other hand... Oooofffft.

I'd like to pee in one of those mirrored bathrooms

Mood? Happzy happzy FUCKING HAPPYCAAAAKES.
I started college on Monday, and I finally have my first late start.
Okay, it's only an extra hour.. BUT I STILL NEED TO READ FRANKENSTEIN >.<
and Deathnote >_>

I've decided that I am going to be a professional retard. If that fails, I'll become a hooker for people with fucked up fetishes like roleplaying as vampires and really sucking each others blood. That would be so hot. Or if it was a girl who was into Harry Potter, we'd fuck each other with wands. Oooofffft.
...
Now I see why I shouldn't be unleashed upon the internet.
I'm too fucked up.

I need to place an ad somewhere to find more freaks into freaky shit. But I don't want someone who looks freaky. Not even if they looks like You-Know-Who. Ugh, turn off, tbh! And especially if they look like Edward-I-Shine-Like-A-Poofter-Cullen. (I just heard the word "arse" on my iTunes. AHAHAHA). Seriously, I haven't had sex in.. like... ages.
And my last make-out session was.. Saturday. Bollocks. I thought it was longer ago than that. Feels like it. Then again, she was pure dutt, so I'm probably tryna just forget that.

Ooh, I just got a friend request on Facebook from some guy I met on this anime forum. He looks kinda hot... maybe he's into freaky shit.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not attracted to him in the way like I'd wanna be with him; but if he's good in the sack then I'd fuck him. Why not, eh? I'd be playing it safe anyway. Remember, kiddies, always use a johnny. Or a raincoat. Or a rubber, you americans.

...Stop it, Matt. Stop talking about Sex. STOP. IT.
Okay, time to read about sex, instead.
Fanfic tiiiime!

You closed your door, I opened mine

If anyone's planning on going to college, here is my advice: DON'T.
It is bloody painful. And I've only had one proper full day there V_V
On the plus side, my tutor's vair lovely, and so're most teachers.
Don't ask me about the students, not a lot of them seem to wanna talk to me.

It's scary, coss I now have one guy from my Primary school in my media (Whom I was in a group with for about half an hour, coss Alan wanted us that way xD)..
And also a guy from my Primary (A different one(!)) in my Photography.
Now, if you're one of those, and you're reading this... STOP STALKING ME!
Okay, they're probably not reading this, but it was worth a try.


On a different note, I am now (much like the Gremlin) free as a bird.
The only downside? The girl I was with, was one I actually liked.
Cest la vie, I guess

FUCK YOU, I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!

I think I have found the answer to why I rarely blog: I'm rebelling.
Fuck off, you know it makes sense really.
It's like with all my diaries, the entries are months apart.. (SRSLY, one exerpt is me bitching about my whore of a stepmother, the next is me rejoycing that she's gone.)

So, I have decided that instead of doing massive arse blogs all the time (Coss, frankly, not that much goes on in my life that deserves mentioning or specially remembering), I will occassionally create small blogs like this one... So I can sleep easy at night (Who am I kidding? I sleep like a baby! Especially after a night time smoke...)

This is Pie, over and out! (For now)